Wednesday, 15 April 2015

India's Daughter.

On 16th December, 2012, 23 year old Jyoti Singh was returning home with a friend after watching a movie. They hailed an off duty bus where six men, including the driver, raped and assaulted Jyoti, leading to her death on 29th December. As details of the inhuman attack came to light, the whole nation came together to show solidarity with ‘Nirbhaya’ and protest the pathetic state of women’s safety.
Leslee Udwin’s polemic documentary, India’s Daughter (2015), has sparked an outrage within India and the diaspora community worldwide. The act of the Delhi court banning the film from theatres, television and even media channels such as YouTube, led the award-winning filmmaker to flee India, appealing to Prime Minister Narendra Modi to lift the ban on the film.
The multiple voices that are interweaved together help to build the narrative of the film, making the piece well-rounded. As a viewer, I got to listen to the voices of not just the families of the victim (Jyoti Singh) but also the rapists, their families, defence lawyers, police commissioners, protestors, scholars, and the powerful women who hold strong political positions within India as political leaders and activists. Udwin's film has been accused of being a platform for allowing one of the convicted rapists (Mukesh Singh) to speak, but I would argue that his voice is perhaps one of the most essential to understand the varied "mentalities" that exist in India, in the different social strata of the Indian society.
The film has also been criticized for being made by a "foreign" filmmaker (a non-Indian), which reminds me of an early 19th century controversy, which was a result of Katherine Mayo's polemic book Mother India (1927).  Mayo, who was an American researcher and historian, made headlines for pointing out the ill-treatment of Indian women and accused the weak sexuality of Indian males that leads to rape and other social issues. The outrage led to the burning of her effigy and eventually, the making of the Oscar-winning film, Mother India (1957), starring Nargis who was portrayed as an all-encompassing ideology of the Indian woman, holding characteristics and mannerisms such as modesty, self-sacrifice and a good mother to name a few, which defined her as the woman to represent the country.
Interestingly and along the same vein is Leslee Udwin's India's Daughter (2015). Udwin's documentary also comes at a time when films like Rang De Basanti (2006) - which illustrated a British woman coming to India to explore her grandfather's roots in colonialism - engaged with a group of Indian men to raise political conscientious. In an interview with NDTV, Udwin confesses she is also a rape victim, establishing 'India's Daughter' as a passion project close to her heart. Reportedly she made the film to explore the current social issue of women in India, and in my opinion, made a successful hour-long documentary which stood as a reminder of the importance of the 2012 rape case, which has become a seminal moment in Indian history.
Many in India question if her ethnicity affects her view of the film - the "us vs them" mentality. If you read Facebook and online article comments it's prevalent, but I would suggest that she is not like Katherine Mayo, whose book made stereotypical and generalized assumptions about the Indian culture and women. Udwin's film instead, shows the effects in the aftermath of rape. There is a heart-wrenching moment in the film, when one of the wives of the alleged rapists, Akshay Thakur, feels alone with a small child living in a village in Bihar, crying and begging for the return of her husband. As a woman it's hard not to sympathize with her, but then I found myself thinking "well if your husband had not raped..." but this is exactly the beauty of the film. While there are erudite voices that are speaking to the rape situation in India, Udwin's film also showcases ambiguous moments where the viewer is left with even more questions than answers about the rape epidemic in India. There is another moment when one of the protestors, Usha Saxena, mentions that her husband called her "stupid" for joining in the protests, which is again a reminder that a woman's freedom in India is still in question before and after she gets married.The irony is that despite protests, rape continues to be a prevalent issue within India.
Udwin's documentary, I would contend, breaks the much-needed silence to encourage Indians - not just within India - but all around the world to rethink the status of women's rights in the country because in many ways, even today, women do represent the nation and its honour - an ideology that has been present since 1947 when India became independent. Indian women over the decades have been silenced in order to save the honour of the country, but by banning the film, rape is being silenced again and again revealing the issues that are inherent within India. During the course of the Partition, if women were raped by the men of the other community, they were rejected from their natal homes, committed suicides, or were forced to adapt the cultures and customs of the men from other communities. Women's rights since then, have definitely improved. Look at Jyoti's family - a father who passionately supported her dreams and even put his ancestral land on collateral so that he could fund his daughter's education. But at the same time, Jyoti who was out with a man on a date was subsequently punished for being a modern woman.
Udwin's documentary reveals that Indian values and traditions cannot be locked into a singular or monolithic understanding of the culture. We live in a globalized world, where cultures and customs are exchanged and adapted. This is at the heart of the documentary, making it powerful and unforgettable, and perhaps the reason why it is banned. The fear of bringing shame on the Motherland. I believe it's a reality which we cannot escape. We should embrace this reality and work to bring changes to the society in a way that preserves "traditions" but allows women to grow.
The documentary also speaks of the emotional and psychological struggles that women face as they try to retain their traditional values while trying to adapt to modern expectations. Jyoti Singh, the girl who was brutally raped and murdered on December 12, 2012, is arguably the symbol of the new women of India. Singh was born to a poor but modern family. Both her parents chose to treat her with equality and helped her to pursue her dreams to become a medical student so that she could financially support her family.
Dr. Maria Misra, a historian and scholar at the University of Oxford, makes a salient point in Udwin's documentary. She remarks that Jyoti Singh categorically belonged to a group of young, single women who represented “symbols of new aspiration” as a result of the transforming economy. India's transformation has created opportunities for young, single women to work and raises expectations across a range of classes of young women about how they should be allowed to live their lives. Due to shifting gender roles in India’s economy, women now have more professional opportunities than before. Economic changes also effect social and political changes inadvertently. And as a result, there's a new bourgeoning cosmopolitan class of men and women who have adopted western lifestyles. This phenomenon is not new, but more apparent with the rise of social media.
Udwin’s documentary also showcases the voices of politically powerful women such as Sheila Dikshit, former Chief Minister of India, British scholar and historian Dr. Maria Misra, Kavita Krishnan, secretary of All India Progressive Women’s Association, and Leila Seth, Former Chief Justice and member of the Rape Review Committee. As a foil, we hear from Jyoti Singh’s mother as well as the rapists’ mothers and wives, who continue to live in economic disparity. By having these women speak together and offer their comments, we're able to see how women in power are working to understand the situation for young women in India today. By having the voices of the women who are in a politically powerful situation contrasted with women who are living in poverty, demonstrates the rich and complex culture of the country. Before we can work to understand why sexual violence occurs predominantly against women, we need to understand and accept the society's multi-layered diverse culture which is interwoven with caste and class, playing a role in defining a woman's position within the society. Jyoti Singh was the woman of today, aspiring to reach higher goals to become part of the rising middle class in India. Unfortunately for her, this also led her to be in a precarious position, making her vulnerable to the lesser male.
To sum up, Udwin's documentary is a must watch. The film sends the message that as young women aspire to become the "new" women of the 21st century, their rights to live their lives the way they choose is limited because of political, emotional, and psychological tensions that continue to exist between the "traditional" and "modern/cosmopolitan" India. The documentary also touches on the fact that an Indian woman's role is already defined. Before they are born they already viewed as sexual objects with limited rights and as well as voice. Udwin's message throughout the documentary is that the society needs to understand and accept that if a woman is free, independent, and open-minded, it does not mean that is sexually available and she should not be silenced or punished by rape. Jyoti Singh should be viewed as an example. As her father concludes at the end of the film, 'as a girl who followed her dreams, stood up for her rights, and is a model for young women who should protest and demand respect?' Her actions that night were not morally reprehensible or a moral crime, she should not have been punished. If a girl chooses to be striving to be better, have the means to provide her family with economic and class mobility, so be it, she can and she should.

Friday, 1 June 2012

Little Miss Perfect.


So I walk into class.. new student, new school, new day, new people..

I’m not exaggerating when I say, that when I first saw you, I felt this weird connection sort of thing.. like “Hey! I’d really like to be this girl’s friend.. I bet she’d make an amazing friend!” Now you call me LEBAY or whatever.. talk to the hand, bro. :P

My feeling turned out to be true :’) It all started with when I found out that our dad’s knew each other.. :O and then all of a sudden you were shifting to MENARA! Oh wait.. dude, do you realize you’ve given me epic birthday presents for my 17th AND 18th? There I was in Jhansi, crying my eyes out on my 17th.. and you tell me on facebook chat that you’re shifting to Menara.. ha. You have no clueeee how happy that made meeeee OHEMJEEEE. And then I lost my facebook account. And then funnily enough, I got it back on your birthday last year :’) and then on my 18th, you bitch! :O I am so sorry I’m slow to surprises. But that was one of the BEST SURPRISES EVER! I had no clue you’d turn up on my birthday, that too at Roshni’s..

Bro.. I have countless instances in my head right now.. I’m not even kidding. Here’s another one, from last year’s Balle Balle Field Trip.. My dad wasn’t in town, so your dad picked me up and dropped me home.. Remember how Siddhu met me for the first time and fell asleep on my lap? Epic, lovely moment.
Also, funnily enough.. I didn’t have any friends in Menara until you came here :P YOU introduced me to Nayantara.. and then she introduced us to the others..

I could say you were the first person here who made me feel like I was a part of all this.. First person to whom I got close to, from what is our group now.. remember geography classes? Laughing at Gagan’s accent and english lol. And the times after that, with Phoebe and Cindy! How we’d sit and talk about lameass, perverted shit..

I can’t really put into words how much you mean to me.. actually, there aren’t words awesome and “impeccable” enough to describe you.. you’re my neighbour, my soul sister, my best friend.. and yeah, you do get “worse than my mother” at times.. which is perfectly fine.

I adore you. I dote on you. Do you know how much it hurts me to see you cry? Well, you should. Cuz the three times I’ve seen you cry, I’ve cried too. That saying.. “She’s my best friend. Break her heart and I’ll break your face!” holds true for us. I will fucking KILL that bastard who tries to hurt you.. (probably not in the awesome ways you would, but I’d try my best babe..).. and I know that you’ll be there to do the same.
Please never cry. You’ve been, to me, the strongest of us all.. you ARE perfect, an all-rounder. You can sing and dance and draw and cook and write and study and play sports and look hot and pretty and you have a KICKASS personality.. Hm, I wonder what it is that you CAN’T do.. Nayantara and I always talk about how our best friends (you and Neliz) are like, perfect. Jesus woman, how do you do it?

It gives me some weird sort of happiness and satisfaction that you live in Menara, and not somewhere near where Rosh lives :P I get jealous at times, of you guys.. makes me feel like what we have isn’t anything special.. but I have to meet you just once, and all that doubt just vanishes. I could sit with you for hours at an end, and I’m sure we wouldn’t run out of topics. And even if we did, well then one of us would do something stupid and send the other rolling into fits of laughter. Like, when you see a cat nearby, and then you jump and howl and squeal. Man.. that makes my day. I could literally fall down on the Menara pavements and roll in laughter.

I like how I don’t have to talk to you every second of the day, to let you know how much I love you. Just a few words, yeah.. Makes my day. I like how you can’t remember your own landline number, and always rely on me to tell it to people or tell it to you to scribble down. I like that we’ve hardly fought (OMFG TOUCHWOOD! Have we EVER fought? DUUUUDE! :O)
Oh god, I am so speechless right now.. oh wait, I shall list out some similarities between us which I find very awesome..
  • Um.. we understand south indian languages and sing south indian songs? And oh, SIDDHARTH AND VIKRAM! :D
  • Grade 11 beginning. We both had close guy friends who turned into “special friends”. Also, mad texting sessions in school with them lol.
  • WE LIVE IN MENARAAAA! :D
  • Hey, we’re in Tagore house too bro! :P
  • We were probably the last two people in our school to get Blackberries. Aren’t we awesome?
  •  How we both have these epic close girl friends, who are like our twin sisters. How both said friends (Mrin and Pash) are alike too :O
  •  We both have this one close guy friend we skype with a lot :P
  • Your brother loves you, your brother loves me.. :P
  • We both hate K (not for Krishna, bro)

I  ran out of things. But I’m very sure I’ve missed out some pretty important stuff. Isskay. It happens in life.
Anyway, you’re 19! You’re old! You’re the oldest in our group! Haha, you’ll die first :P lol kidding. So this is something I wrote for you sometime back..

You. Because you tell me things I can't tell myself. Because you know me better than I know myself. Because I really value your advice. Because my day is incomplete without you. Because you make everything seem better. Because you read my mind.. Because you know me in and out. Because when YOU smile, I smile. Because I won't do anything without you. Because I'll tell you everything. Because nobody else matters. Because your hugs comfort me the most..

Because I love you. Because I can't survive without you.

You know the awesome thing about it? It still holds perfectly true.
Now, you’re leaving. I can’t the time has come for all of us to leave :/ it’s..freaky, if not sad. I can’t believe you’re leaving me btw :”( it’s so hard when people leave me! It’s always me who leaves people first.. :/
You know what? I hardly have anything else to say now.. nothing that I’d wish you to change in yourself. Just be the way you are, my ‘perfect’ best friend :’)

Thank you for being there in my lowest moments to support me, and in my highest moments to let me shine. I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have you as my best friend. Thanks for judging me, it helped. Thanks for being disappointed in me so many times, it showed me you cared. Thanks for pointing out not only my strengths but also my weaknesses.. You’ve had such a big part in making me what I am today.
I promise to you that we'll only make better and even more amazing memories from now on. I promise to be your bestest friend forever. I promise to tolerate all your drama :P I promise to listen to everything that you say.. I promise to make you happy, or at least make you smile when you're low.. I promise to make your life awesome, cuz that's what I do.. :D
I promise to love you forever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY TAGORE BITCH! YOU’RE 19! It’s your last teenage year, LIVE IT UP! Stay how you are, my sultry seductive siren! And don’t forget me.. cuz I sure as hell will never forget you :’)
NAAN UNNAI KADHALIKIREN GUNDU! Also, SAYA CINTA KAMU SAYANG! And, MAIN TUMSE PYAAR KARTI HOON JAANEMANN! :*
Have a fabulous birthday and year ahead. Live it all up. Make new kickass friends, especially the hot kind. So that when I come to KL, you can introduce me to them. You should be good to your friends, you know? Especially to me, CUZ I AM AWESOME!

BOOBIE LOVES YOU TO BITS! :*


Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Roshu Pie turns 18..


Grade 10:
You: *shrieks* *laughs* *screams* *laughs again* OMG BHAAAVV ALYAA AHAHAHA *laughs again*
Me: *thinking* Oh my god. I hate this girl. I hate her shrieking. I hate her voice. Omg. I hate how happy she is with her friends..
Grade 11:
You: *shrieks* laughs* *screams* AHAHAHAHAHA OMG GILAAAAA BHAAV ALYAAAA *laughs again*
Me: HAHAHAHAAH *takes all the contents of her pencil box and puts them all on different desks*
Grade 12:
You: *shrieks* *laughs* *screams* OMG NEELI ALYAAAA HAHAHAHAHAAH *laughs again*
Me: *thinking* How will I live without this crazy character?

You see how far we’ve come in three years? From hating you to literally falling in love with you.. each and every bit of you. The aspect of you that i used to detest with all my heart, I’ve come to love it. So much so, that I can’t live without it. Your shrieky voice now sounds like music to my ears.. no kidding. Wanna call me lebay? Do that :P Do it in the cute voice of your’s kay, cuz I wouldn’t ever mind that.

I kinda don’t know where to begin.. cuz I can’t rememeber where WE began either. It was in 11th, I guess. It was in 11th only that I opened up enough to make new friends. Aah I think the first time I called you was to discuss something in Eng Lit, cuz I still have your number scribbled on that Question Bank. Ever since that, your number is one of the most frequently dialled numbers from my phone.. and one number that I will remember probably always.

You are one of the most important women in my life.. You know, I honestly thought that out of everyone here, Alya understood me the most, that it was Alya with whom I connected the most. Well, I was wrong.. One day I realized that you understood me almost as well as Mrinalini did. And you know very well what that means.. Thanks for being my Second Mrinalini.. or no wait. Thanks for being My First Roshu Pie :*

You ARE classy, as my sister said. I know you’ve gone through utmost difficult situations in life, but you’ve come out so much stronger from all of it. You are so damn lovable and cute, it’s crazy. Not only me, but even my parents adore you. And your crazy laughter. And your smile..

I love your smile. It actually does light up my world.. I’ve told you this, and I’m gonna tell you again.. I’d do anything to make you smile.. You have no idea how much I hurt when you don’t smile, or when YOU’RE hurting.. It’s crazy how restless I feel when we fight (which is a lot.. :O) It’s crazy how incomplete I feel if we don’t talk for even a day (when we fight, I mean. Cuz during holidays sometimes we didn’t talk for long :O) Most of our fights have ended with someone apologizing just so that we could talk again..

You’ve been there in my lowest moments to support me, and in my highest moments to let me shine. I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have you as my best friend. Thanks for judging me, it helped. Thanks for being disappointed in me so many times, it showed me you cared. Thanks for pointing out not only my strengths but also my weaknesses.. You’ve had such a big part in making me what I am today.

You’ve made me a better person Rosh, and I hope I’ve helped too. You are such a fucking fantastic girl, that everyone loves you. All I wish for is that you’d stop being so hard on yourself.. I wish that you would love yourself the most. You know, all the stupid fucks that have given up on you and lost you.. I pity them. They have no clue that they lost out on such a diamond..

Thanks for trusting me with your secrets and life.. and thanks for keeping mine safe too. I can’t forget the countless hours that we’ve spent on the phone.. bitching, gossiping, being random and crazy and high, being philosophical, advising, crying, laughing.. and everything else that could possibly be done over the phone. Thanks for being my most talked to BBM contact..

Happy 18th birthday RRRRoshni, My Roshu Pie, Jadooriani.. you’ve completed 18 crazy years of your life! :O God knows how you survived that long, taking in account how much you annoy people at times =P lol kidding. Lol I also can’t believe that you’re younger than me, although by a few months only. But still.. I’m like such a kid and you’re all psychoanalysing people and situations most of the times. Just..stay this way. And don’t forget me. I LOVE YOU SO DAMN FUCKING MUCH THAT NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE IT AT ALL OHEMJEE! I love you more than Raghav and Sanam and Hrithik Roshan and Damian McGinty and all of the others. Even more than Almond Magnum :O

It's crazy how I can tell you almost anything without much hesitation.. and even if there is, we get over it pretty soon eh? Your jokes are lame, btw. But the embarrassed laugh you do it after it is just fucking adorable. 
These are all memories from the past.. and well.. "these memories are very memorable.." :P 
I promise to you that we'll only make better and even more amazing memories from now on. I promise to be your bestest friend forever. I promise to tolerate all your drama :P I promise to listen to everything that you say.. I promise to make you happy, or at least make you smile when you're low.. I promise to make your life awesome, cuz that's what I do.. :D
I promise to love you forever.

Always smile, jaanu. Cuz you deserve all the happiness in this world..


Thursday, 9 February 2012

On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright..


She stands in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection..
The mirror is lying again.

Her bedroom mirror shows a strikingly beautiful girl. Gorgeous, smooth, slightly wheatish skin. Big beautiful light brown eyes. A stunning mane of shiny, jet black curly hair. Not the crazy curls, those soft natural ones..
She was a petite girl. She’d always been the tiny one among her group of friends as a kid and teenager. Now in her twenties, she was still the tiny one all her friends liked to boss around. But that was all. She had a piercing voice, one that could be heard through at least 5 different rooms on a floor if she screamed loud enough. She was a little cracker. Friends said she lit up every room she entered, literally and figuratively.

She was the kind of girl that could brighten up your day even if she couldn’t brighten up her own..

There she was, in front of her best friend again. Her bedroom mirror. A full length mirror, fixed into a glistening piece of dark wood. She’d always wanted one in her room.

Today, the mirror told her a different story. The little fireball of a girl had been replaced by a terrible mess. She stared at herself.  Dreadful skin, with purplish bruises already on their way to darkening to a black color. Bloodshot eyes, with the mascara still running down her face. Her delicate curls were very badly knotted and twisted..
Her black dress was in tatters. The back had been ripped open, the front had a scarily long gash. Her stilettoes were in her hands. The heel of one of them had split apart from the rest of the shoe. Her tears wouldn’t stop. There was nothing stunning or gorgeous about this girl. There wasn’t anything even remotely pretty..

He’d broken her heart.. and to some extent, her bones..

For the first time.

This one's for you..

If you've ever tried to fight the tears on the bus ride home, and failed.               
If you ever lied about why your eyes were glazed over, and you were believed.
This one's for you..                                
                                                                                                            
If you've ever stopped listening to your favorite song because he liked it too.     
If you've ever hated a girl you didn't know because he picked her over you.      
This one's for you..                                                                 
                                                                              
If you've ever wished you were weak enough to cry in public.                            
If you've ever constantly hid behind laughter and smiles.                                   
This one's for you..                                     
                                                                                                               
If you've ever bit your lip to stop it from quivering.                                               
If you've ever walked with your eyes planted on the ground.                               
This one's for you..                                    
                                                                                                                
If you've ever stared into the darkness before sleep, trying to avoid the "what ifs" and "if onlys".                
If you've ever listened to completely different music, but ended up thinking about him anyway.                  
This one's for you.. 

The girl who doesn't get the guy. The girl who still loves her life to the fullest she can. The girl who gets up everyday and doesn't give up. This one's for you..               
                                                                                    
Because it takes so much to be that strong.                              

                                                                                                                                                         

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Love still exists.

So.. basically, instead of posting this terribly sad story of mine as my 50th post, I have decided to post this 


amazingly composed poem by one of my best friend's boyfriend of two years. I just wanted to show people 


that love still exists, and that one day, we shall all find people who love us unconditionally.


Isn't she just ONE LUCKY BITCH? Gah. 
________________________________




When years are passing by like days,


and in my hand your hand is placed,


a knowing smile crosses your face,


a simple touch can still make my heart race. 


When I can see my soul in your eyes,


and see your soul in mine we realize,


that a love so deep can harbor no lies, 


where our only tears shed were happy tears we've cried.


I love u so much now as I ever did before,


if possible, I may even love you more. 


This all started from a feeling we did not ignore,


a feeling of connection we chose to explore.


I don't know what it is that you saw in me,


but what I saw in you was the utmost happiness that can ever be,


even more so on the day when you and I became "We",


I can still smile and say with love and truth, Honey 


Happy 2nd year! I LOVE YOU