All was well.

It is very ironic that I end up watching epic movies with my best friends the day after a crazy showdown with the guy I love.

This time, it was the final installment of the Harry Potter series. With Alya.

One word.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!

The fact that we were finally going to watch the movie.. (wayyy after the whole world had already watched it. Indonesia is a crappy country bro) It didn’t sink in until we reached the crowd outside the theater. Both Alya and I rushed to text our respective twins before we entered.. :D

It was like voluntarily walking right into something that we KNEW would kill us.

The first scene. Voldemort finally laying his hands on the Elder Wand..

Voldemort’s face, the background score, the aura.. Goosebumps. On my face.

I really wanted to cry at that time.. but I settled for holding Alya’s hand as tight as possible. I couldn’t get through this alone, no.

Scene by scene.. the movie progresses.. I recite the dialogues along with the characters, because that’s me. I remember them all, bro! Most of them, I mean. Also, HA ALYA! I know the dialogues better. And the character names too.

Every moment is painful. Physically, not just emotionally. True story. I just can’t comprehend the fact that it’s the last movie.. it’s the end. It’s FINALLY the end. My heart just went of breaking as the scenes played in front of my eyes.. Thrice, or four times throughout the movie, I almost cried. And once, I just cried. Silently wept.. Fred, Remus and Tonks die..

Ron and Hermione kiss. Harry and Ginny kiss. Neville FINALLY admits he’s in love with Luna. I cannot explain the soaring feeling in the my heart. Love is so pretty.

Hermione.. wow. I’m in awe of her character. SUCH a strong girl. Just “Brilliant!”. I wish Daniel had grown taller.. I love Rupert Grint. And WHAT THE HELL happened to Neville Longbottom and Dean Thomas?! They’re.. dashing. Killer good looks.

“NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!” You GO MRS.WEASLEY! And Sirius Black, I love you forever.

Severues Snape. New found respect for your character.. even more after watching the movie. A big salute, Alan Rickman.

The hug between Voldemort and Draco. Dude, AWKWARD much?

I miss you Dumbledore. And The Marauders. And Lily. And Fred. And Tonks. I wish you hadn’t died..

The kids. You’re all beautiful. And remember, you’re part of a great legend now. The Harry Potter phenomenon. The last scene.. 19 years later. Harry and Ginny with Albus, James and Lily. Ron and Hermione with Hugo and Rose. Draco, his wife and Scorpius.. Perfect couples. Picture perfect.

I didn’t let go of Alya’s hand the whole time, even though it became numb and I stopped feeling the presence of my hand after a while. I screamed, laughed, cried, swore. I pointed and SWORE when they changed the FRIKKIN’ SCENES! HOW COULD THEY? @#!@%$@#^%(&!

At the end, we were left blank. Shocked. Empty.

It was like, a place in our heart where Harry Potter and all things related resided, died. It was just ripped out. I don’t think we were ready for it to end..

It was the end of an ERA! :”(

Oh. And my dad asked us in the end when we came back to the office..

“Did he die?” Actually, dad just wanted to know if he got married or not.

K.

:|

But you know what..?

All was well.

Holiday Spam.

Day Zero: I hardly ever give a damn about anything when I haven’t had enough sleep. Packing is a big pain in the ass with my MOTHER. The weather gods have something against me. I still get terrified during every flight. White wine SUCKS. The Immigration System at the Malaysian Airport is plain and simple STUPID. Arab men are HOT. I love taxi rides. I have gathered some amazing people I can call family in various countries now. At the end of the day, Indian Food FTW. It sucks that my best friend’s going back home without us meeting.

Day One: Nothing will work out according to a plan when there’s my MOTHER involved. ZARA HAS AMAZINGLY AWESOME COLORFUL PRETTY THINGS! I want to move to Malaysia. Fettucine Carbonara yo, creamyyy awesomeness yo. Yay pretty clothes and pictures. My black flats ALWAYS betray me in times of need. I cannot aimlessly walk around like a freakin’ tourist. I need LOTS OF rest in the middle. Arab men are HOT. Also, I cannot walk around in heels like my MOTHER. I spot a more refined version my most hated ex, and almost pass out. A girl can NEVER have enough clothes, or shoes, or bags, or jewellry.. Oh btw, INDIAN FOOD FTW! Pepsi sucks. I am hot. The KLCC is fucking beautiful in the night! My parents think I have a big ass. Same.. fucking.. nightmare.. like.. in.. every.. other.. hotel.

Day Two:  I love dressing up. I love being all organized and prepared while travelling. I love my bag, full of whimsical items. Music is my best friend here, so are my novels, generously lent to me by my friend who is herself on a trip to New Zealand. My personal mission of taking more than 1000 pictures on this trip is on its way to being a success! I realize I’m missing the birthdays of two best friends and one good friend because I’m on this trip. Arab men are HOTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Heights are fascinately thrilling to me. I am totally inspired by Eat, Pray, Love. My iPod is dying. I miss my internet. This is the first trip I am on after parting ways with a certain person, and it kinda hurts. I miss three certain people a LOT right now.

Day Three: I wake up after having that same fucking dream about happily getting back with that hated ex and almost kill myself. My idea of a holiday involves lots of rest and leisurely walking around the place checking out random stuff, NOT hurried tour guide involved shit. I LOVE bus rides, with my iPod and my book and the comfortable seat and the window and the view from it. Also, most bus drivers are jerks. People should not mess with my crazy, but kickass family. The sea calms me, the sea scares me. Too much free time on a trip isn’t good for my mind. I am gaining weight, fuck it. It’s Rajnikant vs. Shahrukh Khan in Malaysia. Babies positively ADORE me. How I’m going to sleep alone in this hotel room tonight, is something way beyond my understanding. The sound of the waves crashing outside my room, soothingly glorious.

Day Four: Sleep is more important to me than pretty sights. Penang is a surprise package. I did not know about the existence of something called a “Fruit Buffet”, but I end up highly enjoying it. Waterfalls are so bloody pretty! Heights continue to enthrall me. I can stand under the shower for hours at a stretch.. We ended up taking 492 pictures today. I lose respect for the hotel I’m staying in when they fail to provide me with a particular type of adaptor for my laptop charger! It’s not healthy to read the Amulet of Samarkhand before going to bed. It’s possible to start sweating insanely in an AC room in just 60 seconds. Basically, I’m doomed for life.

Day Five: Why the fuck was the ferry to Langwaki freezing like mad? WHY? Langkawi is kind of boring, even more dead than Jogja. Stupid McD Strawberry Sundae, FAIL! My dad is my BEST photographer. I GOT AMAZING BLACK RETRO STYLE SHADES! I’m missing home and the people at home a lot, surprisingly. I’m already tired of this trip, which is the longest we’ve ever been to. It scares me how much love I feel for him sometimes..

Day Six: I don’t care if I never come back to this pretty place, I need my rest! I don’t understand ONE bit as to why it was so hot at 700 metres above the sea level. Why do these women completely clad in burkhas take pictures of themselves? You can’t even see your face. Also,  how do they survive the heat in those clothes?! The only thing I’m thankful for from this trip is the way my sleeping patterns are back to normal. Seriously, Langkawi sucks. This trip, we took more than 2000 pictures. Very long trips with my family isn’t good for my mental and physical well being.

Day Seven: IT IS OVER! Last day. Right ear gets painfully blocked on the flight to KL from Langkawi. Burger King mmm. I LOVE well behaved cute babies. Free WiFi FTW! Butt gets painful after sitting on the same damn bench for an hour, with your parents sleeping on either side. Sheesh. Who cares.. IT IS OVER! I vow to never, ever go on such long trips, especially with my family. I cannot even wait for the time when I can travel alone, or with friends. This is it, we’re almost home..

Something amazing.

Never, and I repeat NEVER, fall in love. Falling is never a good thing. You may walk gracefully and intelligently into love, but never fall.

Breaking all the Rules <3

In just a moment..

I can't believe it.. 
Nanu is no more.. Nanu.. Mamma's dad.. Nanu.. I didn't even know him that well..
It was going to be his birthday on 14th January.. only 18 days..


26th December.. I think by 5 pm.. He passed away. I was asleep when my parents called back home..
The sound of my mother and Masi crying woke me up. I didn't even know how to feel.. I couldn't believe it..
That Nanu died, that's not making me cry. It's seeing my mom and her family fall apart.. It's hearing them, not seeing them cry.. it's the pain in their voices.. it's been 3000 miles or so far away.
It's the fact that my mother did not even get to see her father for the last time.. and from what I now know, neither did my father. He couldn't be there on time when Dadi passed away..
A clear example that nothing good can come from living so far away.


I wish I knew him better. I wish I didn't live so far away. Now he'll only be a memory, just jokes and puzzles. He always asked me to read him the hindi newspaper, because my hindi was so much better than my sister's. He always asked us puzzles, just for fun.. jokes..


Just till day before.. it was okay, not good, but ok. Everyone thought, and hoped that Nanu had time. He was probably holding on.. till his last daughter could make it..
But he's free of the pain. All that pain he went through since last year.. we should be thankful about that at least..
No more pain Nanu..
Rest in Peace..

I miss.

I miss Hyderabad. I miss the food. Nan-king, Ohri's, Angeethi. I miss the chat, the Raju-chat corner, the Dimmy's chat corner. I miss the weather, the perfect pleasant winter weather. I miss the summers. I miss how there were hardly any powercuts. I miss the rain. I miss the rainy-day holidays. I miss the times when the school parking lot would get flooded. I miss forgetting all my problems and becoming a kid and jumping around in the water.

I miss school. The stupid, dirty school. I miss the teachers.. Kaju, NV, Asha ma'am. I miss pissing of Sukku with our crazy antics in my last year. I miss the cheaaap classrooms, the scarily bent fans and the scribbled upon benches. I miss the broken windows, the doors which could be opened even if they were locked. I miss pissing off almost all my teachers. I miss being punished. I miss Prabha screaming at us. I miss bunking. I miss PT. I miss playing lame-ass football and cricket and god-knows which other crazy games. I miss those stupid Hobby periods. I miss getting punished on purpose. I miss the school trips, the picnics. I miss the parking lot. I miss those shops outside, Priya stores. I miss the numerous, confusing galiyan. I miss the holi and diwali celebrations at school, and after school. I miss those stupid events that came up during the school year. I miss the farewell, the annual day. I miss the times we spent preparing for it.

I miss my friends. I miss Siddhu, the times in the auto. I miss Spoon and MJ, my first best friends. I miss the lame, cute, kiddy times with them. I miss Shreya, her lunch and the holi times. I miss Alan, and her being worried about me all the time. I miss Aishani, and us dancing all the time. I miss being rowdy with her and abusing the guys. I miss Murtu, the freak. I miss how he could be totally rude to totally sweet in the same conversation. I miss Ajab, and our crazy times in the auto. I miss AK, I miss fighting with him. I miss Roy, and him being all cute and lame. I miss each and every person from 7-D, 8-D and 9-D. No other class could be better than ours. I miss Kevin, I miss texting him. Entertaining him. I miss crazy Muppa and Megha, always being there for me. I miss hugging them. I miss Nea, our chat sessions on Yahoo! Messenger. I miss Nagarjun, and him taking snapshots of our chats and posting them on Orkut. I miss Vikram, and our good times. I miss Pragun.. why did you leave so early? I miss Basu, Kela, Yash. I miss Kunal. I miss him dropping me home so many times, listening to my sad-sad stories. I miss how people thought we were dating. I miss Mrinalini. I miss her being my neighbour, I miss bunking tuition. I miss going to her terrace, to Gharonda. I miss just going for walks with her, I miss sitting near the lift and talking. I miss the times when we just caught random autos from school to home and vice-versa. I miss my sister, my twin sister, MY best friend, MY Mrinalini. I miss her teddy-bear hugs. The random shoe-fights. I miss reading her mind, completing her sentences. I miss her doing the same to me. I miss her advice. I miss my life.

I miss my house. Padmarao Nagar, Belvedre Gardens. C block, 201. I miss the rooms. The balcony which always remained shut due to stupid monkeys. I miss my bed. I miss my computer, the table. I miss my books, all of them. I miss secretly opening my mum's cupboard to steal pictures of my childhood. I miss how much food we got delivered at home. I miss the house where I learned some of the most important lessons of my life. I miss the house I came to when I was happy, sad. Crazy, sober. I miss the house where I got my first ever surprise birthday party. I miss the house from where I made the friends I'll keep all my life <3

I miss the places. I miss Necklace Road, the bhutta. I miss how I watched almost every movie at Prasads, it was like my 3rd home. I miss travelling in autos. Alone, with people. I miss Eat Street. I even miss the stalkers, millions of them. I miss telling them to buzz off. I miss the shopping. I miss the people. I miss the festive atmosphere during Diwali, Holi, Eid, Christmas, New Year. I miss the airport.

I miss home.

Finally.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

That's how excited I am! YES!
It's been two years since I saw him..
So bloody glad I'm gonna seeee himmmm! :D

Umm.. let me begin clearly but.
Since me and my family aren't the official citizens of Jakarta, we need to keep getting the Visa things renewed.. like every 6 months or so. And when that happens, we need to leave the country for a few days..
There isn't any other place than Singapore actually.. So off we go to Singapore. Last I went in December 2009, celebrated Christmas there..
Vowed I'll never go there again, cuz I didn't really like the place as much. It's just a hype among most people, I feel.
It was also pissing off cuz when I reached there, my one friend who studies there, wasn't in Singapore. He'd left for India :( and every other time I went there, he was always in India! :(

But finally. I'm going to Singapore! AND HE IS GONNA BE THEREEEEEEEE!
I am SO excited that nobody knows. I can't wait only! Just 6 more days to go :D

It was sad how he left.. I remember very well that day..
We all signed his T-shirt.. and I was so sad.. I was just getting to know him. :(
And all of a sudden.. he left. Right in the middle of 9th grade. Heart shattering pain happened then.
I too left after 6 months.. then I realized how painful and difficult it must have been for him..
After he left is when I gotta know him so much better than before.
He's such a great friend.. such a sweet guy..
He'll do anything to make a friend happy.
++ he's the one who inspired me to start blogging.. AND he's such a great poet.

He is going to be the first person from Gitanjali I'm gonna meet after leaving school.
I can hardly wait. <3

Miss you Pragun. SEE YOUUUU! xD

My heart stopped beating.

So kiss me like you did,
my heart stopped beating,

So love me like you did,
the memories are fleeting.

So hold me like you did,
I promise not to go,

So have me like you did, 
digging deep below..

So hide me like you did,
take away my presence,

So leave me like you did,
evacuate my essence.

So hate me like you did,
don't clot my endless bleeding,

So kill me like you did, 
my heart stopped beating..